The Endless Dilemma

Dilemma, a word that itself sounds confusing and feels like is in a constant struggle.

Being a type of person I am, puts you in an infinite loop of dilemmas. Every situation ,every single word that I say, every single word that is said to me, every action I do, every action done by others towards me, everything done, not done, happening, not happening, anything and everything puts me in a dilemma. I tend to overthink a lot. Not that it’s a proud thing to confess but I am not ashamed of it either. I go through every single possible situation in my head and at the end of it; I am standing again at a split-road. There is this unending conflict between the good and evil inside me. The situation at that moment is full of chaos; the good side is totally selfless, trying to keep everyone safe and happy even if I end up being a bit sad and depressed. On the other hand the Devil inside is totally selfish and believes that I am the only well-wisher of myself and do what is best for you.

The situation is always bizarre as I am never able to choose a path and all that happens in the future is something again which was totally not expected to happen. People tell me that I am schizophrenic but I don’t think I am I don’t get hallucinations in broad daylight. People criticize me for being like this and ask me to follow the right path but for me both the paths are always equally right and wrong. There is a common mind-set in the present day that you shouldn’t overthink anything but what the masses don’t get is that no one likes to overthink. They should consider themselves being in the place of an over thinker and consider saying their brilliant quotes. The thoughts just keep coming and it keeps multiplying and so the dilemma raises itself to infinity. It’s easy to give motivational quotes but all I require is a solution or someone to advise me properly but that never happens as the situations are. After every possible thing that could happen, I am still in my endless dilemma.

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Who I am and Why I am here

Who am I? A question which has confused me and made me sit up late at nights to get a proper answer. Me, from exterior what the usual mortal beings know is a crazy, 2nd year engineering student, an artist, loves chaos and live totally out of the box. This creature when walks into a place makes it home and can talk out and communicate with any kind of people. Yes, that’s what Sagarnil Majumdar is to people but I know there is got to be more to it. I am very easily misunderstood and judged as I am brutally honest and sarcastic most of the times. So, all my feelings and thoughts get clustered up in my head and that feels really claustrophobic. I need someone, somewhere, somehow to listen to all the things that is in my head and also respond to it in some way and I guess writing everything up and letting the people know seemed a good option. I like admiring the nature and how it works so much in co-ordination with everything and destroys anything that doesn’t follow it’s laws. I like to make people smile because life is too short to be sad and I know what being sad feels like. I collect information about various stuff, anything that fascinates me. People say that I a negative most of the time but it’s not like that, I am a realist. I see the practical side of every situation and act and comment accordingly. So, here I am … starting my blogs, letting everyone know my views, thoughts and information on various topics.

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